Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
