I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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