There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
