a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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