I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
