with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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