Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
whose parrot is this?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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