Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
