they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize