And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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