Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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