Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
