my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
