I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
