"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
