Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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