WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
