my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
