just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
operation have a gay friend backfired
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
