I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
