You don't have asthma, your pregnant
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We have so much sex to catch up on
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize