I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
