:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
MIDGETS
????
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
