You made me cry and you don't even care
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
