hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize