I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
