I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize