I wanna bring you to show and tell
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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