been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
