remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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