Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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