Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
