and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
