Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize