i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize