If i come over, it means nothing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
