Quick, to the slutcave!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize