It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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