Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
