we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Shame is for Republicans.
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