just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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