Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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