You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
