If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
