i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
