pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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