Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
