She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
