The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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