Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
