All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
