brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
