Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
