He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize