my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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