She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize