The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
did i just pee glitter
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
