if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
