East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
don't judge my taste in strippers
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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