Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
