roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
