I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
