the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dick very happy bro
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
