nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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