Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
