It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
