I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
