No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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