I just pynch a tree in the face
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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