I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
