I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
