I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
