people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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