I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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